Diary of a good COO

(Inspired by real people and events.)

Tuesday, late. Normal day. No surprises, which is itself a problem. Because I should be scandalised by what’s become a ritual.

W has done it again – He sacked Stanley, first thing this morning. Acted in the moment at the quarterly sales meeting. Just as well that I was not present, because it would have been awkward afterwards. Can’t imagine successfully persuading Stanley to stay had I witnessed his public shaming.

Yes, the CEO changed his mind, and I cleaned up after him. Rinse and repeat.

I wonder if I will get tired of this. W’s whipsawing seems to be worsening. Or maybe I’m just getting better at noticing his insecurities and triggers. Either way, my job is to shield the team. It’s what I’m good at. It’s what makes me a complement to W.

I am many things W is not – Articulate, worldly, calm, strategic. W may have drive and instinct, but he’s clueless about moving people to do big things, and totally hopeless in front of a large crowd.

I’m basically the translator, turning W’s whims into something the team can actually run with. There should be a job title for this: “Chief Translation Officer.” Or something that means “creating order out of a mess.”

I shouldn’t complain. W’s defects are a good thing. Because if he was all that I am, I wouldn’t have my job. Maybe that’s the rub – I should have the CEO’s job instead. I’m sure I would be better at it than W.

This is not helpful – As COO, I’m effective only when I don’t covet the top job. But I’d be lying to say I’m not tempted. I get especially annoyed when I view W’s flaws through the lens of my own ambition.

There goes my pride again ... W has me for check and balance. Whom do I have to stop me going over the cliff? Certainly not my peers; they too are posturing for W’s job.

C-suite colleagues – Do I have things right with them? Caught myself doing it again in today’s leadership meeting. Softened a question to the CFO so it wouldn’t sound like I was checking up on her. Which I was. We’re not equals, whatever the org chart says. We both know that but pretend otherwise.

And then there’s J. His business unit just had a rough quarter. He had a good streak, but luck ran out on him. Maybe I should have a coffee with J. I should have done that when his sales numbers were strong. But I feared looking like a suck-up; he was gloating. Would an approach now come across as pity … or schadenfreude?

My peers are vying with me for W’s job. The Board, meanwhile, just watches all of us.

The papers have gone out for next week’s Board meeting. It’s going to be a tense one. I can already see Chairman N interrogating W and J. N perks up when the numbers fall short. It’s his opening to get in the driver’s seat. Best be prepared for some crazy ideas and suggestions.

N likes to say, “You’re getting my executive skills at a non-executive Chair’s salary. How lucky.” Talk about hubris. He should be paying the company instead for giving him relevance and self-worth.

Stop – that’s unkind of me …

The truth is, as the Chairman, N’s activism demoralises the leadership team. The aftermath is never pretty – W’s rage, J’s jumpiness, everyone whipping their teams the following quarter. Me cleaning up.

More shenanigans in the Boardroom. P has been making his rounds hosting Chinese New Year lunches for our accountants, lawyers and bankers. I know the script well – P’s favourite restaurant, the premium menu, P directing exactly how much to tip after. No surprises he gets the red carpet each visit. To think that P is the audit committee chair … no redlines crossed, but the optics aren’t good.

Or am I judging P too harshly? Would my own working dinner with the team last week raise any eyebrows?

This verse keeps surfacing tonight as I examine my day:

“… I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”

– Romans 12:3

The complexities of the C-Suite never end.

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* I am a leadership coach. I help leaders manage the complexities of the C-Suite.