My next 50 years

Just over a year ago, I launched a mid-career retrospective series of articles. This is the ninth and final piece in that series.

Many readers have told me they enjoyed my stories. Quite a few expressed alarm at the candour with which I wrote.

Indeed, a close friend who reviewed drafts of the articles had counselled: “Are you sure you want to say all that? People value success, not stories about vulnerability and weakness.”

I love this friend and value his wisdom. But despite his misgivings, I went with my gut.

I wrote about my failures and those of others. About good times and bad episodes. And about places and events.

I will not be retelling those stories.  If you are interested to know them, you can start here.

This Epilogue focuses instead on what writing my mid-career retrospective reminded me about leadership:

• Knowing what you enjoy, and what you’re good at, is a leadership superpower – I love working with words. And I am good at it. I am fastidious about editing and re-reading my writing. That process brings joy. That’s how having a superpower feels like to me – that I can create something uniquely mine that gives me satisfaction.

• It takes hard work to excel in what you’re good at – Writing never comes easily to me. My thoughts always start unclear. Struggling with words is how I make sense of things. Therein lies the paradox about using your gifts for excellence – there’s no getting around the hard work.

• Own up to your mistakes – Time allows one to revisit events differently. I pushed myself to see unpleasant episodes from the perspectives of others. I owned up to the part which I played in negative interactions. Through these reflections, I build my empathy muscle for better relationships in future.

• Hold others accountable, fairly and squarely – This was, by far, the most difficult theme to address. Betrayals and let-downs are part of life. In talking about these, I sought to be honest about my sadness, anger and regrets. But in a balanced way, and without hurting others. I hope I managed to be fair to everyone.

• Find people who can keep you in check – It’s easy to get carried away about yourself. When I write, my love for words often get the better of me. I over-indulge in mischievous word play. I cling on to meaningless sound bites out of vanity. I let clarity and purpose play second fiddle to glib. Humility is not my strong suit. I am thankful for my wife. She keeps my writing – and my life – in check.

• Work and life are never separate – I have only one life, and work is part of it. If I am true to myself at work, I can be true to my family at home. Conversely, if I’m suffering at work, my judgment at home is compromised. Looking back, I can now see that, when I was not living my values at work, I made poorer decisions at home (e.g., about school choices for my kids).

It has been a joy and privilege to share my stories with you.

I can’t wait to tell you about my next 50 years.

(This is the last article in my mid-career retrospective series. Each article in this series recounts events in one decade of my career. At the end of each piece, I summarise what those events taught me about leadership. All articles in this series are hosted on my blog.) 

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I am a Board Director and Leadership Advisor. I help CEOs and teams succeed through good leadership practices. Because good leadership matters.