Humility redefined: The leadership edge you may be overlooking

Humility is often extolled as a leadership virtue. We praise it, we celebrate it, we aspire to have it. But what is it?

The Oxford Dictionary defines humility as:

“[T]he quality of having a modest view of one’s value or importance.”

I find this definition unsatisfactory.

It is inward-focused and seems to link humility with self-deprecation. I don’t think true humility requires a compromise of self-esteem.

Moreover, the definition lacks the nuance and wisdom that real life requires.

And when it comes to wisdom, who better to ask than the ancients? How did they think about humility, especially in relation to leadership?

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”

-       Lao Tzu

“Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.”

-        Marcus Aurelius

A bit better. Lao Tzu and Marcus Aurelius have set humility in the context of our relationship with others. Leadership is after all about being effective around other people.

The ancients were wise

Let’s stay with the theme of “other people” and things external to the self. The etymology of the word “humility” throws up useful insights here.

“Humility” originates from the Latin word humilis, which means “low.” Humilis is in turn derived from humus, meaning “earth” or “ground.”

So the word “humility” in fact stems from the quality of being of the earth or being grounded in reality.

Seen in this light, humility requires us to acknowledge everything that surrounds us in reality, i.e., nature and its elements, our built environment, the people we come across, our innovations and technology, and so on.

How would this type of humility – one that is grounded in reality – translate into leadership decision-making? Or to the Boardroom, for that matter?

Here’s what I think.

First, I have to accept that I cannot control everything around me.

Second, I can expand my influence by working with what surrounds me – resources, people, natural factors, etc.

Third, some things will just be and there is nothing I can do about that.

All logical and good. And I’m sure familiar to most leaders.

But there’s more, at least for me.

Because there is one truth about humility that I struggle to live up to. And it lies in the humility required by my Catholic faith.

Exact definitions of Catholic humility vary, but they almost always contain three key elements: a knowledge of one’s own defects, submission to God’s will, and submission to others as part of God’s will.

While I get the first two mandates, the third one really chafes.

It’s one thing to submit to the Divine. Yielding to earthly others is more vexing, God’s will notwithstanding. Because that invocation directly confronts my capitalist instincts.

From school exams, to job appraisals, to beating the market competition, I have been hardened over decades to race and excel over others.

Yet, I am called to leave that behind.

What does that mean when leading teams and companies?

To me, it means this: We each have unique gifts and a unique purpose in the universe. Humility is finding and living our uniqueness, while submitting to the uniqueness of others as well.

And that also happens to be a central message that arrived with the first Christmas over two millennia ago, i.e., we are each valued for our uniqueness.

May the joy of being unique be with you and your loved ones always.

Merry Christmas everyone.

The Gift of Christmas

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I am a Board Director and Leadership Advisor. I help CEOs and teams succeed through good leadership practices. Because good leadership matters.